I ve got bills to pay and mouths to feed

IвЂ™ve grown increasingly comfortable navigating my life with blinders on. вЂњBurdening yourself with the unrealistic expectation of doing it all is the surest path to burnout and coming up short where it really counts.вЂќ How IвЂ™m Doing Now Kids model our behavior, not our lectures, after all.ДЄ year on, hereвЂ™s where things stand in my personal pursuit of happiness. Essentially, if I get my happiness act together, and make time for me-and my dreams-the odds are good that Zora will follow suit.

Still, looking back on the list of five pointers my article went on to enumerate, I think I was on to something. Zora wasnвЂ™t even walking or talking at that point, so my mom skills had barely been tested. At the very least, we give them a well-worn path and loving guide.вЂќД®xcerpted Richmond Family Magazine, November 2012 IssueДЄh, the arrogance! At one year in, I thought I knew something about parenting. But if we work at happiness the same way (or better than) we work at our jobs, we undoubtedly give our kids a better shot at it. WeвЂ™ve got bills to pay, mouths to feed, communities to serve, and the untold stress that comes with these and other grown-up responsibilities. Modeling the kind of contentment that we all want for our children isnвЂ™t easy as adults. The best parenting is done by example after all. Later I realized I should be wishing the same for myself, for my husband, and for all moms and dads. I wished her a big dream for herself and the motivation to pursue it to the hilt. I wished her great friends and loving family for all her days. вЂњI wished for our daughterвЂ™s continued happiness and health as she grows older and life gains complexity. In an article about ZвЂ™s first birthday last year, I reflected in print: So September affords me two great opportunities for introspection-my birthday and hers. Zora (the cutie pictured above) was вЂњdueвЂќ on my birthday two years ago, but in an early exertion of her independent spirit she decided to hold out for her own special moment-eleven days later. Fortunately, motherhood builds just that kind of muscle with its nonstop demands and the ultimate motivation-a little being whoвЂ™s watching your every move.

Now I have to work at the dream and at finding time, space and energy to pursue it. Getting from point A to point B with a two-year-old in tow requires a bit more strength and flexibility than when I was flying solo. My big dreams remain, but as a mother, IвЂ™ve got to be considerably more creative in their pursuit. I just always want to be the best that I can.вЂќ IвЂ™m not afraid of working hard at anything, whatever it is. Gisele remarked in British Vogue : вЂњI tell my five sisters, who donвЂ™t work at it very hard at all, whatever you put in, you get out. That once you figure out your niche - something youвЂ™ve got some talent for and interest in-youвЂ™ve got to imagine yourself performing at your peak and find the motivation to pursue the vision relentlessly. I suspect that the ladies above grasped early on something that I was slower to recognize. Problem was: I didnвЂ™t always work like one. But I always thought I would be a nationally recognized author. I never aspired to be a pop icon, supermodel, reality star or elite tennis player. Birthdays give us a perfect occasion to ponder the gap between where we are and where weвЂ™ve always longed to be. I could look at these peers and see a lot standing between their accomplishments and mine. TheyвЂ™ve built multimillion-dollar personal brands with incredible work ethic and uncommon drive. All four are powerhouse women at the top of their games in highly public fields. Turns out I share it with Christina Aguilera, Gisele Bundchen, Kim Kardashian and Venus Williams. I celebrated a birthday in September and, in true internet-age fashion, did a Google search on women born in my birth year, 1980.

I ve got bills to pay and mouths to feed